Last I checked, I’m neither a baby nor a dog.

Guy: Where does [my name] like to go for a good whiskey?

Me: [my name] likes to go places where men use the second person when addressing her

And you shouldn’t have started.

Seriously, dude? I’m not a baby or a dog. Address me like I’m an adult human being. Don’t infantilize me just because I’m several years your junior. I may be young, but I still have standards. Beyond that, I have a fairly excellent mastery of American English grammar and syntax.

And don’t try to be cute. That shit ain’t cute. It’s simply embarrassing for all parties involved.

Oy vey.