Tag Archives: dancing

Let’s Makeout in the Beer Cooler!

My first date with this gentleman found us walking to my neighborhood grocery store, hand in hand. We’d had dinner and drinks, and we decided to pick up some beer and continue the conversation by the firepit in my backyard.

Dinosaur fireflyWe stopped at a bin of dollar toys, pawing through a sea of bizarre plastic walruses, snakes, and dinosaurs, delighting in a garish yellow sawfish and red raptors with teeny claws.

We moved on to the beer aisle as we discussed what to get, and he said let’s makeout in the beer cooler. I laughed, riffing on his suggestion that in fact that is what I’d waited for someone to ask me my whole life. A few minutes of joke swapping later, somewhere between the cases of Not Your Father’s Root Beer and the refrigerated case abounding with golden ales and IPA’s, he grabbed me and kissed me, right there under the gleaming fluorescent lights of my neighborhood Kroger.

Ron dancingSometimes you happen upon someone who can make an ordinary moment magical, who can find fun and romance anywhere,  who inspires Ron Swanson level dance moves, and who transform your embarrassing moments into hilarious stories almost instantaneously. Someone whose humor resonates with your own, whose taste for adventures matches yours, but at the same time, who brings out your own laughter and spontaneity on a whole new level.

Most importantly, these people remind us that laughter and fun can be intimate and romantic in their own ways. They bring light to our eyes and joy to our hearts, be it for a single evening or a year or a lifetime.

I’ll brave the chill of the beer aisle any day for that.


We live in the or.

For the record, I, too, have giant bat like wings that appear while I write.
For the record, I, too, have giant bat like wings that appear while I write.

I have a deep and abiding love for William Blake, poet and illustrator extraordinaire. As in about three times a year, I break down into tears because he is and forevermore will be dead. He is to me as Mister Rogers is to my mother. Yep, I’m the coolest.

One of my favorite Blake lines from his cheeky and sagacious Proverbs of Hell” from The Marriage of Heaven and Hell distills into four mere words the tricky balance that comes with human interaction. “Enough or Too much” he asks us. I find this line from over a century ago particularly relevant to our current communication systems.

Who the hell knows how much texting is enough texting? Is too much texting? Is it enough to disappear when you’re done talking to someone for the evening? Or when you’re done talking to them forever? Is it too much to outright tell someone you’re not into them? Is it too much to say that you’re involved with someone else?

We constantly live in the “or,” straddling the delicate line between enough and too much in each conversation. How do we navigate what’s easy with what’s polite? With what’s kind? How much kindness do we owe people who are all but strangers? And what’s kinder, the slow fade or the blunt truth?

It’s anxiety inducing on all ends. We’re locked in this weird dance trying to figure out what someone else wants, what we want, and how to make both of those things happen without ever directly addressing that all of this is going on. It’s exhausting and frustrating, exciting and absurd. And sad. At the end of the day, it’s sad to realize the level of artifice involved in these maneuvers. It makes my heart ache to think of all of us leading our separate lives, looking for connection even as we try to ensure people stay at arm’s length. Or, maybe since it’s texting, that they stay at thumb’s length.

How much longer can we stand the “or”? Or perhaps, is it only when we find someone with whom the “or” is irrelevant, with whom there is no maneuvering dance but rather a genuine dance of joy, danced together not around each other, that we can escape the “enough or too much” trap?